John Prescott and the curse he visits upon restaurants

Tim Walker 1015PM GMT 08 March 2010

After his dear Mr Chu"s China Palace in Hull was fined for hygiene offences, the Kennington Tandoori, the former emissary budding minister"s prime curry residence in south London, has been systematic to compensate �20,000 by the UK Border Agency for contracting 4 bootleg immigrants.

Both establishments hold lustful memories for Prescott. He has certified on a little nights to eating his approach by Mr Chu"s complete menu. In 2004, he treated with colour Zha Peixin, afterwards the Chinese envoy to Britain, to a slap up dish at the restaurant.

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Four years later, however, the owners were fined �4,000 by magistrates after pleading guilty to 10 food hygiene offences, together with bad cooling practices and cross-contamination of food.

At both establishments, it is Prescott"s law to lay at dilemma tables with a napkin tucked in to his neck cuff and his behind to the alternative diners so they can"t see how most he consumes.

Gordon Brown calls on Andrew Motion

Andrew Motion took a call from Gordon Brown the alternative day. The Prime Minister asked the former producer laureate if he could think of a square of communication that was apposite to his predicament.

"I gave him a line from Keats about being a smashed stone we can cling to on to in a inclement sea," Motion tells Vogue.

If he had called me, I would have plumped for Auden"s Stop the Clocks ("Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come").